Being an Autistic Woman

Autistic

and

being a woman

can be

extremely hard 

at times.

I have

invisible

woman issues

that I have to deal with

which really

not a lot of woman 

without autism really

talks about.

Which leaves me

guessing

as to trying

to understand

these woman issues

I deal with.

Sensory issues

communication issues

anxiety issues

emotional regulation issues

sexuality awareness and

understanding issues.

On top of this

I deal with

monthly bleeding.

This is the thing

that really 

not many woman 

without autism 

talk about

let alone autistic woman.

The sensory issues

with monthly bleeding

can be so severe at times

that it leaves me

to head bang and

self bite 

during this time.

I can not stand

the sight of blood

I can not tolerate

sanitary pads

let alone

have the gross motor skills

to use tampons.

Some autistic woman

opt to 

suppress 

their monthly bleeding.

I was one woman

that chose to 

suppress

my monthly bleeding.

Sadly I reacted

it did not go well for me.

So the Mirena 

was removed.

Now I am left

with the monthly bleeding

which 

I

sensory and anxiety

wise can not handle.

Sometimes I wonder 

why 

I have monthly bleeding.

I wish that my moderate to severe Autism

meant that monthly bleeding wouldn't 

come either.

As I 

really

can't handle

it at all!

How do I go about it,

when I have to rely

on my carers 

to help me

manage my 

monthly bleeding.

This affects

my self esteem.

I get heavy bleeding

this I do not like. 

This leaves

me to be highly anxious.

The sensory stuff of 

monthly bleeding

I will never like. 

This is the stuff

that neuro-typicals

do not understand how 

sensory issues for 

a autistic woman

affect us

being able to effectively

manage our 

monthly bleeding on our own.